The Horrible Future

The Last Zombie hunting expedition ever.

2006-07-29T11:37:27Z

Not Updated Every Sunday... Get off my lawn

Read 'The Horrible Future' From the Start

Well, it has come. Nostradamus predicted it, that funny hobo on the corner yelled it at you as you swept past him, but they were right. This is the last entry of ThF. Sorry. Thank you for reading, but I'm done with this. I'm very stressed at University, I have metric asstons of stuff to do, and I cannot keep up with it. I did have a lot of stuff planned for this, but it sort of fizzled. I'm not discounting the possibility of starting this thing up again at some point.

In conclusion, thank you for reading. I appreciated it. Thanks for all the fish.

-b4d0m3n

Eat my salads, king of poetry!

2006-07-23T09:45:03Z

Now Updated Every Sunday

Read 'The Horrible Future' From the Start

Well, this was a tad late, wasn't it? Sorry. I've been sick and in more pain than you can humanly ever imagine. Something about manly human fat sliding over ligaments. It was gross. But now awesome brainpills are slowly taking over my sexy bodily functions and soon I may even ascend and be more of a God amongst men than I am already. Yohoho and a bottle of fun. University begins again tomorrow. You can imagine my reaction. Here, I wanted to insert a picture of two naked Japanese girls licking a squid, but I just couldn't find it. Um. Just imagine it.

-b4d0m3n

FRIDAY IS FILLER DAY!!!

2006-07-14T12:41:20Z

Now Updated Every Sunday... except NOW

Read 'The Horrible Future' From the Start

Oh, shit. I'm taking my wife on holiday tomorrow. Wait until next week for double THF awesomeness. Here is a filler about REAL ACTUAL EVENTS. Aaron is a friend of mine who has some weird ideas about things and people. I'm the guy without a heart on his shirt to signify my SHEER MALIGNANCE. See, the conncetion there is that we both have facial hair, although Aaron's is sleek and pleasant to the touch like a baby beaver, while mine is a wiry tangle of mangrove crap. It is good to be me.

- b4d0m3n

My pants have been cremated.

2006-07-09T07:20:58Z

Now Updated Every Sunday with SOLAR CONTENT

Read From the Start

I had a rant here about how much people suck, but I just couldn't make it work. My discontent at the bulk of humanity is still there, but it seems to have been placed alongside a deep appreciation for life. Fuck.

- b4d0m3n

Riding a pony, or ridding a porny?

2006-07-01T05:02:56Z

Now Updated Every Sunday... or is it?

Read From the Start

Filler strips. Is there anything sexier? Of course, you could argue that I could have inked the ACTUAL strip in the time it took me to disgorge this filler. But you'd be wrong. Dead wrong.

- b4d0m3n

Peanut Peanut Timey Time. No Butter?

2006-06-24T13:44:56Z

Now Updated Every Sunday

My 日本語 exam happened on Thursday (or 木よう日 as our crazy Japanese friends would say {or rather 木曜日 as our slightly better educated Japanese friends would say}). Haha! Impressed? Maybe you should be a little impressed. But I think I did pretty poorly on my exam. My biggest let-down is vocabulary, though I think I've managed to remember most of their wacky sentence patterns. So, yeah, over the break it's peanut butter learnin' time. Actually, also peanut butter Warmachine time and peanut butter Game Mastering 'The Shadow of Yesterday' time. All in all, good times.

Woah. Was that the longest entry in many many months? Possibly. Oh, man, there's so much that has happened. I found a new appreciation for my son. Really, until now I sort of thought of him as a pet. I mean, kids are a lot like pets, just more demanding, right? But he's so damn clever. Little dude is three years old and he's almost memorised his favourite book ('Hand, Hand, Fingers, Thumb' - a tale of monkeys and drumming by Dr.Seuss). I mean, sure, his pronunciation sucks and the syntax could use a bit of training, but it's all there. His fantastic little mind is growing and for the first time I know what it means to be a proud parent. The walking part, that was okay. It just meant that he could get from one disaster to another. And anyway, cats can walk. But they can't read, can they? Actually, they also cannot speak, but when most people speak it's just a gentle buzzing to me, anyway.

So, yeah. Rock on.

- b4d0m3n

Filler? I hardly even knew 'er!

2006-06-18T03:32:11Z

Now Updated Every Sunday

Yeah, sorry about that, my shiny friends. Filler day it is. I have a metric asston of Japanese stuff to catch up on and I better get to it. I have very little in the way of useful ranting to do. Um. Perhaps I will update with more fascinating stuffs in a day or two.

- b4d0m3n

billionbroken @ 2006-06-11T00:33:00

2006-06-10T15:15:49Z

Now Updated Every Sunday... or is it?

There is a certain level of Hell, right next to the place where rapists go, where undisciplined writers end up. In their heads there were worlds and events which potentially could have made the suffering of a few people on this stupid planet a little easier, but the selfish (and most likely unaccomplished) artist kept it all to himself. Oh, yes, he had excuses. Had to watch that great episode of 'Desperate Housewives' (it's a fantastic character-driven drama). Or, perhaps, there was some hacking around his system he had to do. In all likelihood, all these excuses are bad excuses and the writer deserves the tortures all the red creatures of the underworld have prepared for him.

Writing is about discipline. It's about stabbing yourself in the heart and letting the blood spell life on the page. It's about a lot of awesome things and obscure metaphors and allegories relating to elephant guns. More than anything, it's about personal accomplishment. If you finally get that Victorian/Lesbian/Airship love story out of your system (*IT WILL WORK, DAMN IT*), then you can concentrate on all the other funky shit floating around inside your brain.

- b4d0m3n

The Horrible Future - #30

2006-06-04T00:17:38Z

Now Updated Every Sunday

Hey, how goes it? This is strip number thirty. The comic has come a long way, I think. I have the next five strips sketched out and the five after that lodged firmly inside my brain. Tell me what you think of it, if you like. I'm having a butt-load of fun writing and drawing it, so I hope you have almost as much fun reading it. But no more. That would be wrong.

- b4d0m3n

The Horrible Future - Spankingly Obvious

2006-05-27T11:47:32Z

Now Updated Every Sunday

Oh, what a wondrous few days I have had, my squishy friends. I had tonsillitis, which if you do not already know is a sexy illness of the throat. It's where your tonsils swell up, and then you think there's something on your tonsils, but in fact there isn't. They are now as large as a German Shepherd puppy and the only way to cleanse your insides is with fire. Sweet, purifying fire. And, well, that's pretty much that.

Another point of interest is that I have recently started a sexy blog. It is called 'Omen's Ominous Rig', and it is not about an oil rig, but something almost as sensual. I'll let you decide where it is (omensrigdotlivejournaldotcom). Or perhaps it is nowhere, existing in time, but not in space. Is that possible? Maybe.

Anyway, that's it for me. I was too sick to play Warmachine yesterday, but I did have some lovely chicken.

- b4d0m3n

The Horrible Future - Spanking Edition

2006-05-19T15:04:00Z

Now Updated Every Sunday

Last night, after playing two funky games of Warmachine, my friend and I had a fascinating conversation about strippers. Apparently he didn't want one at his 'stag party', when in fact it would make everyone a lot more comfortable and probably heal birth defects. This is actually a not-so-commonly known fact: strippers are shards of Jesus. It's true. When Jesus ascended to the Throne of Heaven, usurping his father and tyrant, such was his emotion at finally being able to control all facets of reality that his beard actually crystallised and fell to earth, shattering. Now, from each beardshard or Jesus Piece a stripper is born. Her (or, in some cases, his) gentle gyrations not only bring joy to paying audiences, but they can also perform small miracles. Blind men see, deaf men hear, impotent men are in a state of unimpotence (or, even, potence) and people who are ugly are still ugly, but at least no one is looking directly at them.

I had a nice day today. My wife is learning French, or at least kind of poking it in the face to see if she enjoys it. That makes me pretty darn happy. Languages are wonderful things. Actually, did you know that without language we could only go '...'? ... ... .... ... .... .. .! Anyway, that would get old fast.

- b4d0m3n

Is it Tuesday?

2006-05-16T09:02:39Z

Is it Tuesday already? Oh, crap. I thought it was Monday. But it is Tuesday instead. The above is an accurate portrayal of my manly beauty.

- b4d0m3n

billionbroken @ 2006-05-12T14:53:00

2006-05-12T05:29:23Z

Well, well, well, what a week it has been. I know all my three, four (perhaps) readers will appreciate hearing the plights of my everyday toils. My Japanese went fairly well this week, I think the test I did came out around 70/90, which is satisfactory to me. My son peed in the potty, which is an awesome achievement. I know how to play the first half of Harry Potter on my bass guitar.

That's basically been my week, really. So, no awesome rants, but at least I'm back. I apologize for the quality of this strip, but I only just got back to my inking. Looks like THF will stick around for a while longer. :)

You want to be this man:

- b4d0m3n, A Billion Broken Eyes

Blargh? It's the monkees?

2006-05-09T06:11:46Z

Hahahaha. I return. Today I was sick. Read my inanities or die.

- b4d0m3n, A Billion Broken Eyes

ia ia ia

2006-05-05T01:13:34Z

Hey, dudes. How goes it? I had a fantastic day yesterday. Managed to somehow get full marks on my Japanese oral test (woo), and some great marks in the rest of my stuff. Then my (Warmachine) Menites won a sweet, sweet game with Cygnarans and also I got my bass guitar. Rock on.

- b4d0m3n, A Billion Broken Eyes

something

2006-05-02T01:42:34Z

Something? Maybe.

- b4d0m3n, A Billion Broken Eyes

The end of an almost-era?

2006-04-27T14:31:35Z

Maybe. :) I'll probably be leaving The Horrible Future in a little while. I'll try and upload as many strips as I have time for. I have a new, far more cohesive project in mind to occupy myself with very, very soon. But, since like four people are maybe reading this, the message is merely a courtesy or something. I like bananas flamingo woo woo.

- b4d0m3n, A Billion Broken Eyes

Quagmire!

2006-04-21T06:16:08Z

It's Thursday time. Actually, it's Friday, but due to the power of the Internets I have backdated this entry. Hahahaha! Man, too much studying doesn't really make me want to rant. Massive shout outs to all the three readers of this comic. It's all for you guys. Yeah.

- b4d0m3n, A Billion Broken Eyes

billionbroken @ 2006-04-17T18:00:00

2006-04-17T08:42:10Z

Oh, man, what a wacky Easter that was. I got filled up with chocolate and children beat me with a stick and licked my insides. Dudes, that was the greatest several minutes of my life. And then I WOKE UP. See how I did that? I alluded to an event and then totally dashed the reality by making it a dream sequence.

- b4d0m3n, A Billion Broken Eyes

EASTER??? ROMANS???

2006-04-16T00:22:13Z

Easter has something to do with Romans, right? Here's a picture about Rome. Also, read my webcomic. It rocks bottoms and it's made out of candy.

- b4d0m3n, A Billion Broken Eyes

Poop patties?

2006-04-13T11:54:34Z

I had a rant prepared. I was thinking about it last night. It would be about homosexuality and how religions adversely influence our views of the natural world. But I decided to drink myself to sleep with Cola, so instead I'll be performing open-heart surgery on a chimpanzee. Don't worry, Mr.Juggles... you're safe with me.

- b4d0m3n, A Billion Broken Eyes

Freakin' sweet mother of Ted, it's the tenth of April!!!!

2006-04-09T13:13:51Z

Happy 'Tenth of April Day'. It's a holiday I just made up. I was going to leave it at that, but I thought I'd also mention that my God was thrown into a pit of lava on the tenth of April. It's true! It's a coincidence, I know. He was just walking down the street, minding his own business (he was an upholsterer), when suddenly a majority-minority group jumped out of a fire hydrant and killed him for our sins. What? Yeah, he rose three hours later. But those three hours were spent in a 'Language and Context' course. He totally reset our moral discrepencies, but now we gotta be real good, alright? Sweet.

- b4d0m3n, A Billion Broken ~~Pelvis~~ Eyes

Country Music for a City Rat

2006-04-05T13:01:40Z

Country music doesn't resonate with me. It isn't the type of sound that soothes my soul, that makes my heart smile. I guess it's perhaps because I'm a city boy at heart. I was born in a smelly metropolis, and by the Gods, I will die in a smelly metropolis. Country musicians sing about things which confuse and frighten me. Their hillbilly tunes that make me think of tall, yellow grass and paddocks and maybe a ranch talk about horses and barns and annual wheat harvests. And love. Love in the country must be a different thing than in the city. For one, there's less animals. But I think the country, in many ways, is simpler than the city. It's a place where men are real men. That is, they lift heavy things and go to sleep under the stars, heedless of nasty arachnid or insectoid foe. And, what is more, it is where women are real women. They cook and clean and pop out children like vigorous child-popping cannon people. Or, at least that's what I imagine when I think of the country.

When I think of the city, well, that's some easy thinking. A city is a hive for people. It's where we've killed nature the best, and it's where we can walk the paths that we have created. The city has a soul. Its eyes are the windows of skyscrapers, its veins are drainage systems which carry our waste and its nervous system is composed of the electricity we wield like Gods. Country music talks about love in the context of an ideal that no longer exists. But we all dance to a different tune. Here in the city, we listen to the music of the traffic and take solace in the meadows which are our sports ovals. We look up at night, and on a really good night we don't even see the stars. We see the neon haloes of our success.

-- b4d0m3n, A Billion Broken Eyes

Pornomouse - the king of mice.

2006-04-02T02:33:30Z

There is no mouse like Pornomouse.

- b4d0m3n, A Billion Broken Eyes

Hitler in the haus?

2006-03-30T04:07:09Z

Today I'd like to talk about the internet. The internet brought with it what is now historically referred to as the 'Era of the Assjacket'. This would be fine, of course, were it not for the prevalence of the asshole in the real world. It gets weary dealing with idiots in actual space and dealing with whiners and would-be bullies in, uh, fake space. Here's an interesting assumption; feelings can't get hurt across the interweb. They can, I guess, but I think the assumption assumes too much. Anonymity is one of those great things. In theory, if Poopmeister009 on ICQ or AIM or CIA or whatever the Hell kids are using these days to arrange school orgies with, if this person insults you there should be no issue there. There should, in fact, be a distinct lack of issue because you don't yet know that Poopmeister009 is really your sister, or your lover (in America, both). The above assumption assumes that you're thick skinned enough to not care about some random jerk who hides behind a retarded monicker. It assumes you're not a weenie. But a lot of people are. Their feelings are fragile and they get sad.

Then there are the know-it-alls, the gits and the would-be father figures of the Internet. The know-it-alls insist that the moon landing was fake (which, to their credit, there is teeny weeny circumstantial evidence to support) and that their Uncle Jay knows that Gates guy from Microsoft. We know the know-it-alls are stupid, retarded, or both, and so we ignore their persistent predations. The gits... well, there's little we can say about them. The assjackets fall under this broad category and include insulting gits, hate-spewing gits, dissatisfied nerd gits and others of such persuasions. They're not out to make friends, but they are there to tell you how much they hate Blizzard for nerfing their favourite WoW class, or how those homos should just all be locked up or how much they hate black people. They're easy to spot. Usually they have handles like Hitler_rules666 or something. To be clear, though, Hitler did rule. He ruled over vast quantities of land.

And then, lastly, there are the guys who think they are your father (not in any sort of erotic way, though). Normally, they would be under the know-it-all label, but they're too eloquent for that. But they are frustrating. These are the guys who try to break up fights with 'superior reasoning'. They're the dudes who know too much about the Roman Legions and not enough about how their own government functions. They are dudes who often get positions of moderate power... like moderators on a forum (see, a pun). Yeah, those guys suck.

What was my point, again? I seem to have lost it. Anyway, have a great day.

- b4d0m3n, A Billion Broken Eyes